Why I Do Not Like The Term Single Mom.

Living in a world that is, so hell-bent on everything having a title or label for everything, the role of being a single mom is one that I do not particularly care for in my situation. Granite, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and each is a personal preference, but for me, there are so many other labels that could fit anyone’s story. Thus, the purpose of this article is to explore the different names that may already exist to describe moms. So far, there is a single mom, solo mom, and co-parenting moms.

In my generation, at this point, the majority of my friends are mothers. They do not always have the physical support of their child’s father at all times because maybe the father works on the road, or is incarcerated, or temporarily in a different state for the time being. It is a lot of work to raise another person on your own, but the history of women and the role women are given in the household has always been that of taken care of the kids. We get it done with or without help. But in the situations described above, at the beginning of these paragraphs, I would say that the circumstances would make them solo moms instead of single parents. In my opinion, being a solo parent means that eventually, help is on the way. For now, or the time being, I’m mothering individually or solo.

Whereas, when I think of single mom, and the term being used in my generation, it does not fit me either. From what I get from mothers, that consider themselves to be “single moms” is that they are no longer with the child/children’s father, the father is absent from the mother’s life, from the child’s life, or that the women are not in a relationship or dating at all. A mother can become a single mom a number of ways but the main consensus is that a single mom is just the mother and the kids all the time. The term “single” does not describe the type of parent a person is, but to me, it’s like she is single, and she is a mom. Regardless of the amount of help you have with kids from sitters and family members, the fact still exists that a single mom may be faced with having to care for their child alone at the end of the day.

Then you have co-parenting moms or situations. This could be parents that are no longer in a relationship or never had a relationship that shares half or some of the responsibilities of the child/ children. Now, after reading this, you may find yourself feeling like you could fit in anyone one of the categories. Trust me, the more terms that people come up with, the more I can find something to resonate with.

However, I do not like any of the labels. When you become a parent, regardless if you and the other parent remain a couple, if you have to hold down the fort temporarily, or maybe you are single and a mom, the fact remains that the center of attention should be the children. Give yourself credit, for being selfless, and putting the needs of the little people in your life, that take up a prominent spot in our hearts first. The journey of parenthood is hard enough without having to explain the title of motherhood to anyone.

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2 Comments

  1. 2.19.20

    This is so true. His generation wants to label everything. They want to make it easier to put you in a category and a box along with a collective. But moms are not a monolith. We are diverse and many. You’re never alone. There is no single mother. There is only mother or mother more abundantly💙.

  2. 2.20.20

    I agree💕💫

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